2010 - Oceanside, CA
A lady friend of mine, in her twenties, exclaimed with a sense of surprise how a certain celebrity singer seemed even more attractive, at age thirty-eight, than when he was younger. This situation, which is by no means uncommon, raises certain questions. Particularly, to what degree is physical attraction based on form, versus other factors which may be projected onto the overall aesthetic of a person to enhance their desirability? Into this discussion I bring limited data besides twenty-six-odd years of personal observation. My thesis is that mature women generally regard men as having reached their most physically attractive state between the ages of thirty-five and fifty. Now, is this because men are objectively most ideal specimens of form during those ages, or is something more at work beneath the hood, informing a woman's sense of attraction?
A lady friend of mine, in her twenties, exclaimed with a sense of surprise how a certain celebrity singer seemed even more attractive, at age thirty-eight, than when he was younger. This situation, which is by no means uncommon, raises certain questions. Particularly, to what degree is physical attraction based on form, versus other factors which may be projected onto the overall aesthetic of a person to enhance their desirability? Into this discussion I bring limited data besides twenty-six-odd years of personal observation. My thesis is that mature women generally regard men as having reached their most physically attractive state between the ages of thirty-five and fifty. Now, is this because men are objectively most ideal specimens of form during those ages, or is something more at work beneath the hood, informing a woman's sense of attraction?
I suspect the degree of female physical attraction, if considered apart from
emotional desire which stems from intimacy, rises in direct conjunction
with a man's acknowledgment as having virtue. Power, if you will. Components of power, broadly construed, which may be projected psychologically upon physical form to enhance eligibility consist in
such characteristics as skill, intelligence, economic stability, popular
influence, or moral esteem. The period between advanced youth and old age is the
season wherein men are most often said to "come into their own," in terms of power. They
begin to round the ascending curve of their developing abilities,
stability, and influence. And the more highly a man is appraised to possess respectable or prestigious traits, the more his appearance is
subconsciously enhanced above its raw form in the estimation of women.
To some degree this occurs for the opposite gender as well, though
admittedly, men are less inclined to project layers of perceived virtue
convincingly upon their physical appraisals of women, especially with whom they have
no prior emotional intimacy or realistic expectations of long-term involvement. Perhaps this difference owes to a stronger drive in women to associate sexuality more closely with the exigencies of real life? At the end of the day, sex has consequences and they are often more costly for women. Loss of reputation, care of children, economic stability, and the unlikelihood of future commitment frequently come out as shorter straws in a woman's hand. Thus, at a subliminal level she is more likely to engage estimations of the overall quality of potential mates, even those who are unrealistically detached from her, such as celebrities and fictional characters. I call this tendency the Imaginative Inclusion of Plot. Female inclusion of plot into physical attraction is most concretely revealed in the appeal which racy novels, with all of their complex back-stories useful for establishing the worth of the hero, hold toward women. By ascertaining some hope of a meaningful, or at least bearable, "ever after" scenario, women are more easily induced to entertain physical interest which would otherwise seem bland, troublesome, or threatening to their over-all well being.
By comparison, men are naturally more capable of compartmentalizing duties and consequences of actual relationships from their sexual appraisals of women. Unless a man is faced with a real and imminent possibility of long-term involvement, he may not feel so inclined to imagine any plot that takes into account a woman's personal qualities. He is able to restrict his fantasies to just those moments of physical exchange, and to imagine only those mutual feelings necessary to enjoy them. He does not need so much to be convinced that spending a significant portion of his lifetime with any particular woman would be feasible, in order to feel powerfully attracted to her body. It should be mentioned, however, that most men reengage their sense of reality when it comes to evaluating plausible mates. In that case, men will imagine what life might be like before and after their trysts and therefore incorporate all of a woman's virtues more readily into the sum evaluation. This is why, when it comes down to it, many husbands sincerely prefer the physical intimacy they have with their wives, whom they appreciate as companions, child-rearers, and helpers, above what could be imagined with celebrities. "It just wouldn't be the same."
Nevertheless, it is unfortunate that American males are too slow to incorporate virtue into our perceptions of our feminine counterparts. It creates a painful imbalance with the passage of time. Women of our society often feel pressured to cover the process of age with cosmetic disguises of youthfulness, like painted fruit which nevertheless rots from within, whereas men are generally granted the respect shown to hardwoods. The weathering of a man's appearance is thought to belie experience, and is therefore preserved and polished. His features somehow become more artfully embellished, his visage encrusted with the identification of his achievements over a patina of prestige. Men are disposed to entertain beyond reasonable age, fantasies of younger women. The common ideal of women, however, is not at last for sugary, boyish, cherry-cheeked men with reed-smooth skin, but for a substantial man; a blued steel truss of a man who has attained refinement of years and the sturdy mettle of experience; such a one as wears in crows' feet the impression of virtue. And this is why men often seem to grow more attractive with age.
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© Michael Spotts:. 2010
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You are permitted to reproduce and distribute this article in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and that you do not charge any fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For printed copies, as well as web posting, please include the following statement:
By M. Benjamin Spotts:.
Copyright © The Open Life
www.theopenlife.com
Titus 3:3-8
© Michael Spotts:. 2010
———————
You are permitted to reproduce and distribute this article in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and that you do not charge any fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For printed copies, as well as web posting, please include the following statement:
By M. Benjamin Spotts:.
Copyright © The Open Life
www.theopenlife.com
Titus 3:3-8
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