We dream of sudden, amazing, satisfying friendships springing effortlessly from chance meetings, of romantic serendipity. Yet when we take our place beside strangers, we say nothing. In private we bite our lips, in public we bite our tongues. I suppose this is because common experience suggests the same disappointments and dangers we've felt before lie ahead. Contenting ourselves with idealistic impressions of life confined safely inside our aspiring minds, we forgo actual possibilities of experiencing what gives greater richness and humanity to living.
(I assure you, reading it yourself will sound better. Flash not working? Use the .mp3)
The first word is a tall hurdle and my legs are short as any. Few obstacles are so difficult as opening an account with a stranger. It is jumping that cavernous expanse of unfamiliarity by an impossibly faint phrase which terrifies me. I concern myself with the fear of making poor impressions, of seeming an inconvenience or threat. Strangers view one another as variables to be weighed in the equation of past experience; it is a game of factoring probabilities and the solution might not seem worthy of the exercise to those before whom we pose the problem.
There is an intrepid nerve required to venture upon those exotics at our elbows. To drive boldly into uncharted social circles can mean plowing against flows of interpersonal ice; it takes a certain amount of iron and steam, stalwart resolve, to engage strangers. I contend this is the last and never-exhausted domain of explorers, adventurers, risk takers. To them belong virgin ecstasies of discovery and triumph, as they make landfall on precious people and lasting relationships, where none were once thought to exist. Those who dare leave the flat world behind will have wonderlands spread before them, just over the introverted arc of silence. They are heroes of friendship, conquistadors of real community, if sometimes less than ecstatic martyrs of rejection.
No doubt the Internet has created an asylum for those who are satisfied with more or less virtual community. There is an easiness online which many retreat to, rarely to be seen again in the physical presence of their myriad "friends". On the other hand, the Net is a miracle for those of us who thrive in a domain of word and thought, who might have less immediate power to make physical impressions on strangers.
There is debate about the authenticity of so-called virtual relationships. The idea that proximity is crucial to true camaraderie is untenable I think. Certainly I was among the more social in college, before the prevalence of social networking, but I confess to having established a great deal more friendships (and on more durable terms, I might add) through the exchange of ideas on the web. In fact, the majority of my proximate friendships were developed at first online. What was scouted and forged in writing was tempered and honed in person.
There is debate about the authenticity of so-called virtual relationships. The idea that proximity is crucial to true camaraderie is untenable I think. Certainly I was among the more social in college, before the prevalence of social networking, but I confess to having established a great deal more friendships (and on more durable terms, I might add) through the exchange of ideas on the web. In fact, the majority of my proximate friendships were developed at first online. What was scouted and forged in writing was tempered and honed in person.
However, I grant that many people don't bridge the ethereal gap and actually meet with their online acquaintances. For myself, I still hunger after physical community and view the Net as a means to that end. I wonder when you and I will see one another next? Sooner than later I hope.
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© Michael Spotts:. 2011
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You are permitted to reproduce and distribute this article in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and that you do not charge any fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For printed copies, as well as web posting, please include the following statement:
By M. Benjamin Spotts:.
Copyright © The Open Life
www.theopenlife.com
Titus 3:3-8
© Michael Spotts:. 2011
———————
You are permitted to reproduce and distribute this article in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and that you do not charge any fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For printed copies, as well as web posting, please include the following statement:
By M. Benjamin Spotts:.
Copyright © The Open Life
www.theopenlife.com
Titus 3:3-8
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